


The Weirdness of Home

by LigerCat



Series: Why is this a 'verse? [4]
Category: Phineas and Ferb
Genre: Actaully like all the Fletchers are, Alien Biology, Alternate Universe - Aliens, Candace has no idea what's going on, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Dialogue Heavy, Don't Judge Me, Family, Ferb's an alien, Gen, I Don't Even Know, I'm Sorry, Mentioned one-sided Phinabella, Mpreg, No Slash, Possibly OOC, Rated T for some themes, Supportive Candace, Supportive Phineas, Teen Pregnancy, Teenage Parents, Teenagers, Tried to make mpreg make sense, Unplanned Pregnancy, Weight Gain, What Was I Thinking?, Why Did I Write This?, sympathy weight
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-07
Updated: 2019-04-07
Packaged: 2020-01-06 05:04:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18381515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LigerCat/pseuds/LigerCat
Summary: Candace is always the last to know.





	The Weirdness of Home

**Author's Note:**

> I was going through my drafts and found this. I'm pretty sure I wrote this after a conversation with someone about mpreg stories. Figured I'd either post it or delete it, and despite the plot, it seemed like a waste to just delete it.
> 
> I don't own Phineas and Ferb.

Sometimes Candace wondered if she shouldn't visit home during the summer since the time away at college seemed to have made her more sensitive to the weirdness at home.

Currently, that weirdness involved her brothers, as normal. She couldn't help but gawk at them from the doorway as they sat on the couch watching TV. That part wasn't so weird since it was raining. No, what was bothering her was the change that had happened over the months she'd been away.

Mainly to her step-brother. As much as she tried not to stare, her eyes kept locking onto his middle. Trying to get over the way his shirt stretched tightly over his newly plump stomach, one hand casually resting on it as he lounged. Phineas looked like he'd put on a little weight too but not enough to be overly noticeable.

She'd kept her mouth shut about it so far, thinking someone would say something about her younger brother's surprising weight gain. But it had been over a day and still nothing. This wasn't even a busting opportunity because it was obvious their parents could see it. She caught several glimpses of concern in her mom's eyes when she looked at them.

That was it. She couldn't keep silent any longer.

She strode into the living room and stopped in front of the screen. "What the heck is going on with you two?"

Both teenagers blinked at her. Confusion clear on Phineas' face. "What you mean, sis?"

A frustrated groan left her. "You two, why you're getting all fat and stuff?" She waved her hands at them.

Phineas' expression cleared before his eyes widened. "No one told you?"

"Told me what?" she snapped.

A bright grin lit up Phineas' face. "Ferb's pregnant."

If he'd said the grass was blue she would have been more inclined to believe it. But she looked her youngest brother-who was staring at Phineas in a way she knew meant something but she had no clue what-and, considering how weird past summers had been, should this really surprise her?

She jumped to the obvious conclusion. "Why the heck would you build a machine that would get you pregnant!"

Ferb blinked at her before sliding farther down on the cushions.

"We didn't!" That confused look was on Phineas' face again. "It happened naturally."

She felt like groaning. They were teenagers, didn't they know anything about sex ed? "Phineas, men can't get pregnant naturally."

"Yeah," he agreed easily, "human men can't."

"And Ferb is a human." Each word was pronounced slowly and carefully as if that would help him understand.

"No, he's not."

"He's-" Now she was really lost. "What?"

And Phineas was looking at her like she was the idiot. "Ferb's an alien," he said, copying her slow tone. "So is Dad, and Grandpa, and Uncle A-"

"Wait!" Candace's hands shot up. "You said he wasn't an alien." She gave Ferb a suspicious look. They'd assured her he wasn't alien years ago, why was Phineas saying he was one now?

"No, he wasn't replaced by a shapeshifting alien. He's always been an alien." Phineas smiled. Like that made it somehow better.

There had been a point when Candace thought her life couldn't get any weirder. She'd been wrong.

Rubbing a hand over her face, Candace sighed. "Okay, so assuming I believe this, then why are you gaining weight too?" If Phineas said he was somehow pregnant too, she was packing her bags and going to Stacy's. But at this rate, she'd probably find out Stacy worked with government agents or something.

"Ferb said I'm sympathy eating." After a moment, he shrugged. "I don't mind."

While a reasonable answer, it still made Candace frown, but before she could say anything Ferb reached over and shoved Phineas on the shoulder.

"Hmm?" Phineas turned to his brother.

Ferb blinked.

"Dude, you don't need to worry about my weight. It's only a few pounds," Phineas said, rolling his eyes.

Continuing to look at him, Ferb slowly sat up straighter. Something that took more struggling than it normally would do to his increased size.

How far along was he? Now that she was actually considering the insane idea, she couldn't help but wonder. She'd seen him during spring break and he'd looked as thin as always. For that matter, how'd he get pregnant? Yeah, she knew the alien part, but who got him knocked up?

Phineas had a pinched expression on his face as he looked down at himself and poked his slightly pudgy middle. "Don't think it's that bad." Suddenly, he shot a glare at Ferb. "I did not gain that much! Ten pounds tops!"

Candace rolled her eyes at the one-sided conversion. "So who's the uh-" how was she supposed to word this? "-other parent?"

The brothers glanced at her before turning to either other. Ferb tilted his head towards her. Phineas responded with a small shake of his head and gave a pointed look at Ferb's stomach.

After several seconds of the silent back-and-forth, Phineas finally answered, "Ferb's species' has a facultative parthenogenesis reproductive system."

Candace blinked. Then blinked again. "A huh?"

"They can reproduce asexually or through-" Phineas broke off with an uncomfortable look on his face. "Uh, standard means. Ferb accidentally triggered his asexual reproduction."

"He got himself pregnant." That made about as much sense as anything else.

Ferb shifted in his seat, not quite looking at his siblings. "Apparently certain private actions have more lasting effects on my species than humans. Unfortunately, Father waited too long to inform me of that."

As the implications of that suck in, Candace blanched. "Oh God, tmi."

"Mom and Dad are worried," Phineas blurted, possibly in a hope to change subjects. "We're still teenagers, and they don't think we can handle raising a child, even if they help us."

Of course, they were going to raise the kid together. Sighing, she took the last few steps towards the couch, and Phineas slid over so she could plop down between them. "This is completely insane."

Phineas shrugged. "We still have three months to plan."

Three months? She glanced at Ferb, he looked too big to only be five months along. And now that she was next to him, he really needed larger clothes. The buttons on his shirt were already straining to hold back his rounded belly. Seeing her scrutinizing him, Ferb wrapped his arms around his stomach, a pick hue tinting his cheeks.

As if he read her mind, Phineas went on, "It's an eight-month pregnancy. It took a while for him to start showing, but once he did, man, he got big fast. Still is. But at least the baby'll be born before school starts up again. The last few months before summer made it hard to keep the whole alien thing a secret. But everyone just assumed Ferb was getting fat. I mean, he does eat a lot. And I almost slipped up because Buford kept teasing him for it until Isabella talked with him about it."

Candace snorted. She doubted there was much talking in that conversation.

"Then we built a device that would make people not notice it so much. Because it was really noticeable." His excited tone turned sad as he said, "But it sucks that we haven't gotten to hang out with our friends since summer started."

"No one knows?" She kinda thought they'd tell their friends. But they didn't tell her either and she should have known about it before now.

Phineas shrugged. "Irving almost found out, and I ran into Isabella last week and she asked me what was going on, but everyone's been pretty busy with their own stuff." His eyes drifted past her to Ferb-she half-forgotten he was there. "I mean, we'll have to tell them at some point, but Ferb doesn't want them to see him like this."

Candace nodded. "What did Isabella think of your extra pounds?" While she still didn't get why the girl crushed on Phineas, she'd come resigned to the fact that the girl would be her sister-in-law at some point. While Isabella didn't seem to be the type of girl who'd lose a crush over something so trivial, she was still curious. The whole 'raising a baby with Ferb' would probably be the bigger deal-breaker.

"I dunno, she didn't say anything about it." His brow furrowed. "Why?"

"No reason." She leaned back. The boys sat close enough to her that their arms and shoulders brushed despite there being enough room to spread out more. "So you're really going to do this?"

"What else would we do?" The innocent glint in his eyes showed that he wouldn't consider or allow any other opinion to be taken.

Besides, dropping an alien off an orphanage would be just asking for trouble. So would trying to explain the situation at a hospital or abortion clinic. Ferb better be cool with having a home birth. And she didn't even want to think about how the baby was going to come out of him.

Candace sighed, looping her arms around her brothers' shoulders. "As weird as this all is, I have full faith you two can handle it."


End file.
